Lost.

In a super fucked up mood right now, not sure if its pms or just pure headache.
FYP has been a stressed up shit for me right now, hoping that i'm able to come 'home' feeling better,
but no!
Why do I need to have this kind of shitty feeling even at 'home'.
carrying all my heavy baggage, with all the fabrics, paper pattern etc. and dragging it back.

Today was just horrible day for me.
being late for class, being annoyed by a classmate, and getting caught for doing stupid stuff.
oh please, I just need my normal, carefree life back.
Is it all part of growing up?
This year is already coming to an end.
Many ups and downs.
Any happy thoughts now?
Not at all. It's all the negative shit running through my tiny and dumb brain.
Maybe I shouldn't even choose this path.
Maybe I should just focus more on my family, friends and school.
Everything is like falling apart right now.
I feel like my skin is tearing apart internally.
I feel like a crazy bitch right now.
I feel sad and emotional.
I feel lost.

Give me back my happiness.
Because I really need it.
I need my LIFE back.
losing. my. chill.

A question suddenly came into my brain right at this moment:
Why am I doing this?
Why am I doing this to myself?

c.